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Tuesday, May 30, 65 Comments Share This: Have a question about relationships and sex for seniors?
Senior Planet subscribers also get The Weekly Orbit, our newsletter with features about personal finance, health and fitness, technology tips, an online book club and more! Every month in Sex at Our Age, award-winning senior sexpert Joan Price answers your questions about everything from loss of desire to solo sex and partner issues.
Nothing is out of bounds! To send your questions directly to Joan, sexpert seniorplanet.
I enjoy my vibrator, but I miss the feeling of skin on skin and the embrace of another body. I want to feel exciting and excited. Sometimes I wish I could just have a man in bed for an afternoon when I want him, then have him go away.
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Is that sexist, treating a grown man like a boy toy? I was brought up to see sex and love as part of the same package, preferably pointing to marriage.
Is that even possible for women? How do I bring sex back into my life?
How would I even do that? Whatever works for two people mutually is much more important than any either-or rule.
Here are some options for you to think about. Many unpartnered seniors enjoy these kinds of relationships.
A friend with benefits, or FWB, is a real friendship — you care about each other, enjoy talking and share interests — with that added gift of naked cuddling and orgasms.
You come together for sex when you both want to, and otherwise your worlds might not overlap. There are also erotic massage practitioners who offer sensual massage—you can explore whether this is available in your area.
The right FWB might be closer than you think.
Or they may be in a relationship founded on ethical non-monogamy.
There are many reasons that people of our age want a sexual partner without a committed relationship.
Maybe you already have the right friend, and just need to add the benefits! You ask whether this kind of relationship is possible for women. Yes, for many women.
No, for others. Are you likely to get too emotionally involved, or is he?
Emotions are tricky, and the best way to deal with whatever comes up is to communicate clearly before you get involved, during the involvement and afterwards if either of you needs to end it.
She had a close friend who was also open to a sexual friendship without commitment, and some exploratory kissing showed them that they really were sexually attracted to each other. They talked about their needs, desires, expectations and boundaries, being careful to speak honestly and non-judgmentally, and to really listen to each other.
Their FWB relationship lasted two years.
During that time they were friends first and foremost, and sexual partners as an added bonus.
And show your partner that you value your health and his by always practicing safer sex.
Send Joan your questions by ing sexpert seniorplanet. All information is confidential.
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